Sunday, December 20, 2009

Road rage

Yesterday I drove from Tucson to my hometown, Hermosillo. My city is located about 350 miles south of Tucson. During this time of the year a lot of Mexicans living in the US drive back to Mexico and the Tucson-Hermosillo highway, being part of the Panamerican highway that goes from Canada to Argentina, is highly transited. A lot of those people drive 2 pick-up trucks; chained together and piled-up with stuff as to prevent the drivers from looking back on their rear-view mirrors. Driving surrounded with those many cars, semi-trailers and regular traffic, encounter at least 4 police/military check-points and quite a few asking for money or selling stuff in the middle of the little towns on the way, can bring the worse of you out.

If you think that I’m all proper and not able to curse please stop reading now, as I would like you to preserve that nice imagine of me. Now, if you would like to now how I react under pressure continue reading. These are some random thoughts that popped on my mind during my drive back home. Some of them were voiced aloud; a few accompanied by a particular hand movement that included flipping a certain finger up.

- Frakk
- Why are you moron braking? There is nothing in front of you!
- No, no, don’t try to get in front of me, there is no enough spaceeee (honk)
- Frakk youuu, I have to brake because you don’t know how to get out of the highway without making everyone else stop!
- Why the heck do you have a checkpoint if you are not checking anyone???
- Frakk
- Great, idiot going at 35 mph when everyone else is going 75 mph. Frakk I can’t pass the idiot because I have about 20 cars in-line to my left.
- But, I stiiiill haven’t fouuund what I’m looking fooor
- Half-hour wait at the toll-box, frakking great!
- No, I do not want to donate to the red cross, I just want to keep moving!!!
- Hermosillo 100 miles, fantastic, now I just have to keep going straight (there are about 4 curves in the last 100 miles of the way and nothing to see but dried grass and mesquites around, can be quite dangerous if you are tired because is soooo boring).
- Last toll box, another half-hour wait, awesome!

I repeated all those thoughts a couple of times until I finally made it home and after unclenching my jaw and my fists I started to relax a little and enjoy having vacations. More from yesterday’s events later.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Another birthday

I wrote this 3 years ago and I think it is time to re-visit it:

----------------------------
It is time to postpone the fantasy of the family for a couple more years. When I was a young girl I used to think that I would meet the love of my life at 18 and then get married at 20. Then, as a teenager I changed my mind and decided that I would meet him at 20 to get married at 24. I turned 20 and that year left me with a big heart-brake so, I changed the time again, 25 to 28 was the goal. Obviously, that didn't happen and the date got move once more, hook up with someone (anyone!) at 28 and get married at 30. I can't keep moving the fantasy anymore, I give myself to 32 maximum and if nothing happens I will claim the children that my friend Readman owes me.
----------------------------

So, here I am, 32 years old, single and no prospect in sight. I guess I need to talk to my friend about those children. He promised me his first born after I gave him a book he really wanted. Then he promised me a second child after I have him the first season of Bones, jajajajajajaja. Now, the arrangement was that he was going to get married and then give me the children not that I would have them with him. There's a problem though, he is single also!

I was talking to my brothers the other day about this. I long to be a mother, I really do. I know that my sister thinks it is selfish for a single woman to have or adopt a kid. I also know that is better for kids to have 2 parents. But, what about all those kids in foster care that never get adopted? wouldn't they rather have a mom than nothing at all? I will have a big decision to make once I finish my PhD and get a real job. I have to graduate soon! My biological clock is ticking!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Birthday 2009 in Tucson

If I thought that my birthday celebration was over this year, I was wrong! Last Friday my friends in Tucson took me out for dinner at "My big Fat Greek Restaurant". I haven't had that many people celebrating me since I was in high school! We were 16 people at the table ;-). We had good Greek food, awesome company and Mila (my friends Verena and Toby 3-week old baby girl). I haven't had time to meet Mila so they brought her to dinner as my birthday present. You can check my happy face as I'm holding her, in the pictures below.

My friends gave me a very blown-out, black and white, picture of myself that will take an entire wall in my apartment if I put it up. They also gave me a gift card for Amazon from were I ordered: Harry Potter 6 (blue-ray-dvd combo), the 2nd season of The Big Bang Theory, a CD (Noel Schjaris, Argentinian singer) and 2 books from the Ender's series (Orson Scott Card). I can hardly wait for everything to get here! woohoo!

You can also check in the pictures my "happy-birthday-face" as the waiters/waitresses sung the Greek version of happy birthday while giving me a flaming plate of baklava. I hate people singing happy birthday to me, I didn't know they did that at the restaurant! All my friends know this so they enjoooooy themselves seeing me suffering through it! jajajajajaja.



After the celebration I had a busy weekend doing Christmas shopping and being in the lab very early and late at night (that's what 12-hour experiments do to you!). I'm getting kind of sick again, at it sucks, lots of sinus pressure!

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

A very eventful birthday

The very long weekend started last Thursday when Jack (my car) broke-down 45 minutes from Tucson. The electric system started failing, the alarm went off and I panicked! I pulled over and opened the hood, of course I didn't know what to look for so that was useless, jajajaja. Just as I was deciding whom to call Jack started again. I decided to keep going and see if I would make it home. I did! I went straight to my brothers shop, two of my bros are mechanics. I left Jack with them after explaining what had happened.

I spent the afternoon with my Godson, Diego, the super-cute baby in the pictures. The next day I had my birthday dinner, you can see my friends on the picture. We had good food, good wine, a lot of laughs and an awesome time. I got great presents and lots of hugs and balloons, jajajajaja.

Saturday was Grandpa's party, we share our birthday. Grandpa turned 94 this year so the family threw him a big party. I got to see family members I had not seen in a while, including some from my Dad's side that were invited to the party, you can see them in the picture were I'm in between a couple. After that picture was taken my uncle Mario said we were "the little piggies" jajajajajaja.

I got Jack back on Saturday, so, on Sunday I packed all my things and was ready to head back to Tucson. However, when I got in the car I couldn't fin my iPod and was very upset, I took all my stuff out again to look for it, nada! Anyhoo, I got some CDs for my b'day so I played them. Just as I was pulling out to the highway Jack started his crazy electronic dance again! It stopped working and I started crying! I thought that they were 2 bad signs that day and maybe I shouldn't drive like that, I was very upset. So, I went back home and called my brother. They finally figured that Jack's alarm wasn't working and it was acting as if I was stealing the car! So, they installed a new alarm on Monday and I came back to Tucson on Tuesday, after finding my iPod hidden in the glove compartment.

Aside the problems with my car I had a good birthday celebration and will have another one in Tucson this Friday ;-) Thanks to all for the good wishes :-D

Thursday, November 12, 2009

2% chances are 100% real

He said he was 98% sure he wasn't busy on Wednesday. He said he would call on Monday or Tuesday to set up our meeting on Wednesday. He texted on Monday but didn't say anything about the date. Total silence on Tuesday. I was really pissed off and disappointed, this was the second time he did the exact same thing. So, sorry guys, I didn't follow your advices because I really thought the ball was in his court. As TJ said, at that point I felt that the whole thing was forced (by me, mainly).

I felt pretty stupid for getting my hopes up. I really liked the guy, even though he had almost stood me up once already. So, on Tuesday night my facebook status read: "I'm glad this day is over" (I had a bad day in the lab) and he commented on it around 1 am: "me too". I saw the comment early in the morning and saw his status from Tuesday: "having friends over, bbq and punk music, awesome". When I saw that all the excuses I had made up as possibilities for him not to call me flew out of the window. So, I deleted him from my friends in all the social sites we used to be in contact with each other.

Of course my heart would still jump at the sound of my phone but, no, he never called. I was a little down because of this yesterday but, today I'm much better. Hell, is his loss! I want a man I can rely on, in real life, not online. I have the feeling that he wanted to have me there as an option in case he didn't find something better. I'm no side-dish, I'm a whole entree and half a dessert! So, screw him, I'm better off by myself.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Experimenting in a different lab

Yesterday was my friend's birthday. Inspired by the movie Julie & Julia we decided to make Beef Bourguignon for her. I was in charge of the cooking and my friends of the chopping ;-). Here is how the very long process goes:

Grocery shoping:


Chop the onions, bacon, carrots and mushrooms:


Simmer bacon in water for 10 min:


Fry the bacon in olive oil and remove from the heat leaving the fat in the pot, brown the beef (previously dried with paper towels, it won't brown if it's damp), a few pieces at a time:


I had 6 pounds of meat so, the browning took about 1.5 hours to finish!


Caramelize the onions in the bacon fat, then add the carrots and brown them a little.
That's me with my new apron browning the carrots and onions:



Add the beef and bacon back to the pot, add salt, pepper, beef stock, thyme, tomato paste, garlic, a bay leaf and lots of wine, bake at 250-300F for 3 hours:


On a skillet brown onion head in butter and olive oil, add some beef stock and a bouquet of herbs:


Brown the mushrooms in butter and oil:


In the 3 hours of baking, relax and watch a movie:


After 3 hours in the oven we added the mushrooms and onions and let it go for a little while longer, this is how it looked like when we added the final components:


TA-DAAA! Julia Child's Beef Bourguignon and baked potatoes as a side dish:


Being the first time I make something this complicated let me tell you, it was a great success! Everyone had seconds or thirds and the plates looked like someone had rinsed them immediately after finishing the food. Of course, after 6 hours of cooking I was exhausted but, it was worth it! We all enjoyed an awesome meal and had fun!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Flirting

Don't you love that phase on a possible relationship when you flirt with each other a lot? So, there this guy that I met at an online-dating site over a year ago. We lost touch for a while then he contacted me again and we have been friends on Facebook since then. We have each other cell phone numbers but we only texted (until tonight). We comment on each other's status and flirt like crazy on FB. Yet, we have never managed to get together in person.

I have asked him out twice and he was busy both times. He has asked me out twice and I was busy or out of town both times. Bad luck or a sign that we are not meant for each other? Today we were again flirting and he said something about me using being a girl as an excuse for something, my response was: "I could tell you that I can prove (being a girl) it but why bother? :-P". It was all my intention to let him know that I thought he is really not interested in dating me so, I implied that he wouldn't be interested in finding out if I'm really a girl. Of course I got the response I wanted and he asked me how I would prove I'm a girl. By the time he posted that I was already gone from work so I didn't answer.

I don't know how long it was after that, less than 10 minutes. I got a text. The conversation went like this:

Him: how would you prove you are a girl?
Me: how would you prove you are a guy?
Him: what do you want you see or feel?
Me: my thoughts exactly
Him: what do you have to offer?
Me: nothing you would be interested in (I thought that by teasing him like that I would get him to react and ask me out again or something)
Him: what would you say that?
Me: we have been online buddies for over a year and yet we haven't met for real. There is a reason for that

Two seconds later my phone rang!!! "Hey, it's Him"

Long story short, we talked for about 10 minutes (first time we talked) and there is a 98% chance that I will meet him for lunch on Wednesday!

I'm kind of worried that if we meet the text-online spark will die. Maybe it will increase? What if he doesn't like me? What if I don't like him? Anyone wants to take bets on the possibility that I will actually meet him this time?

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween 2009

Haven't you head that Halloween is the holiday for the nerds? This is way:

Cereal killer



Religious theme





iPod commercial



The pumpkins



The pervs



The communist party

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Paths and roads

Here I am again, right at the entrance of that path that sometime ago joined our roads together. The road was made of dirt but it wasn't hard to travel trough. I wanted to cross to your side and stay there forever. You looked to my side only from time to time. I had the hope that the road would get pavement, it would be strong and we would maintain it together. At that time we laughed a lot, we talked for ours about everything and nothing, you were on your side and I was on mine, but I was happy.

You didn't want to cross to my side of the road, you found a way to let me know and you made your road turn away from mine. You followed your path and found another road. You were exactly like I was, looking at that road and wanting to cross over and stay there. She had already found her permanent place and didn't let you cross.

Eventually, I found a bridge to another path, I risked everything and crossed to the other side. The owner of the other path didn't want me to continue parallel to him forever so, he made me return to my path and blew up the bridge so I would never go back. The little pavement I had got broken and it took a long time to get it repaired, you can still see the scar of a big pot-hole but, it is ok to travel trough.

I have been on my path for so long, I see others in the distance but there are no bridges to cross and reach them. That is why in days like this, cloudy, cold and melancholic I go back to the entrance of the road that leads to your path. Only I know where it is now, the desert cover it with bushes and sahuaros but, it is still there and I come and seat for a while and dream of how it would be being on your side. I know it wouldn't be perfect, there would be detours and bumps but I think I would be happy again. If only I could make you look to my side again. I could build a giant announcement that would guide you to my path, I know it would be useless though, you have no desire to sort the dunes to get to me.

I don't know where your path took you this days, I don't know if you found an indestructible bridge to another road, I would like to think that it happened. I will never forget were that little road is and maybe I will never stop hoping that it will re-open but, knowing that you are happy would make me a little happier as well.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Mexican with gastritis

I have been blocked on my writing for a while now. The reason? I was diagnosed with dyspepsia (aka gastritis) a month ago. Meaning? I'm constantly in pain and nauseated. I never thought it would happen this bad. I've had episodes before but never lasting more than a day or two. This time is different. I can't drink caffeine at all and I can't eat a lot of things, which let me to realize how hard it is being Mexican while having gastritis.

I have never realized how many of our dishes contain some kind of chile in them. Also, the incredible amounts of lime juice I consume. That realization conducted me to another one: it is frakking impossible to eat any Mexican food while sick to your stomach. Both for the spiciness and for the dullness that overcomes the food once you take out the chile and the lime!

Quesadillas without salsa? Boooring

Rice without tomato sauce? where is the flavor?

White rice without lime? yikes!

Machaca without Anaheim peppers? that, my friends, is considered a sin in Sonora.

Tacos without chiles and lime? that is just wrong!

I have to get better before Christmas break! The thought of having Menudo without chiltepines or not having any beef-tamales gives me goose bumps!


Note: I should have said Sonoran instead of Mexican, the food in the rest of the country is different and the dishes I mentioned here are Sonoran ;-)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Looking down

Last week I went to a U2 concert in Phoenix. After 4:30 hours in the car for a trip that should have taken 2:30 hours (traffic was insane), we made it just in time for U2 to start. We totally missed the "black eye peas" which I was absolutely fine with. I didn't buy the tickets so I had no idea where we were going to seat. The tickets were the second least expensive price so I thought we were going to be somewhere in the middle. No luck, we were almost all the way to the top of the stadium (the Arizona Cardinals stadium, that is). How different it is to go to a concert being in the first rows compared to the ceiling of the place?

First rows:

Everyone is a big fan.
Everyone sings along all the songs.
Everyone stands.
Everyone dances.
Everyone screams.
Everyone follows the clapping or arm movements asked by the singer.
No-one feels silly when holding their cell-phones up in the air as if they were the lighters used in the 80's.
You can see what kind and color of sun-glasses is Bono wearing.
Screaming when the singer comes close to you actually makes sense.
You get a neck pain because you are looking up all the time.

Ceiling:

Not everyone is a fan so everyone is shy to sing-out-loud.
You are surrounded by the sweet smell of pot.
You see Bono's sun-glasses, on the screen.
You can see the whole scenario but that tower on your left sometimes doesn't let you see the singer.
You get a back-ache because you are bending down to try to be closer to the stage (jajaja).
You start clapping or waving your arms around when the singer asks you to but, because no-one else is doing it you stop at the second clap/wave.
The real fans that couldn't afford tickets in front of the stage annoy the hell out of you because; they scream, they don't seat down and they try to sing-out-loud butchering the lyrics of the songs in the process (you only notice this because they are the only ones singing so you can hear them).
If the singer point towards the ceiling you are tempted to think that he is looking at you so you scream, then comes the rational thought: if you can't see his face he, most certainly, can't see yours.
You watch more of the concert on the 360 screen than actually looking at the ants jumping around the stage that you know are the band.

In all, the concert was OK. The sound was horrendous and I couldn't understand most of what Bono was singing. I wish I would have been by the stage, yet, I'm not that big of a fan so I wouldn't pay that much money, jajajaja.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Him

I must confess that it felt weird at the beginning. To see and feel that new presence in my apartment. I have been by myself for so long that now is hard to share my space. Seeing him, there, looking at me with those beautiful green eyes. He got closer slowly, it seemed like it was weird for him too. He is not used to spending the night at a stranger's house, neither. Little by little we started trusting in each other, we had dinner, watched some TV, we "played" for a while until it was time to go to bed. We were both nervous. Deciding what side we were going to sleep on was easy, after all it's my house and I always sleep on one side of my bed so, he had to move over.

We cuddled together for a while and I found where he likes to be touched, we stayed like that until we fell asleep. Right at midnight I heard him calling me, he touched my face and sneaked under my sheets wanting to "play" again. I said no, I was really tired and he gave up. He tried again at dawn, calling me to wake me up, caressing my legs. At that point, I had no option but to wake up and please him. You now may assume that I'm so tired that I just want to die. I have another night like this to look forward to because he is staying in my apartment again tonight.

Pepe, my friend's cat, can be adorable but he is also quite demanding, jajajajajajajaaja

Big experiment

Every time the timer goes off to remind me to change the wash of my Western blot brings me a step closer to a big failure or a big success of an almost 2 year-long experiment. My stomach is getting tighter and tighter, I just want to know! I want to scream! My hope fluctuates from very positive that it will work to an almost certainty it won't. I'm on the verge of tears because if it doesn't work I have no more backup plans and I really don't want to accept defeat. Sciency and all you could now see me praying for this to work, I need a good result to feel worth something again.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

My user name

I found this cool video of the song were I took my user name from. I have no idea how my BC friends think or pronounce it and I wanted to share this with you so you'll know how it is pronounced. Deray is what people from the Canary Islands call the moon. The song is about the forbidden love between the moon and the Sun.



My favorite phrases from the song:

The voice of sadness is Deray

Lethal love that sings instead of crying

The hidden side of the moon is Deray (note: the dark side of the moon doesn't sound as tragic or romantic)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Misleading people

In the past days I came across a post about the new Influenza vaccine that was totally misleading and scaring people. I know the blogger means no harm, on the contrary, but he is talking about something that he doesn't understand. I really don't like bloggers that just copy/paste information from other sources and try to make sense out of them when they have no idea about the subject. I'm a scientist and I do not claim to know about everything science-related. I thought about writing a science blog but, my lack of knowledge in certain areas made me reject the idea. I'm a bacteriologist but I have studied viruses, parasites and fungi as well. Still, if I started talking about cancer or diabetes I would certainly make some mistake because my knowledge is not as extensive in that area. That is why I don't do it.

My training does allow me to critically review papers form serious journals and understand what they are talking about. When I access pages like the CDC or read reports from MMWR I know where to look, I don't read what is written for the lay person, I read the information for scientists. A lot of people that talk about the "dangers" of the flu vaccine claim to have gotten their information from the WHO page. I can't find what they said even after more than hour of browsing to the WHO webpage. One thing is getting information from a newspaper or any other media source that claim to cite the WHO and another is to say that because you read those pages then you also got your information from the original source. It's like a broken phone line, the information gets more and more polluted with passage and it's not like a virus that gets attenuated, on the contrary. Doing your own interpretation of subjects you know nothing about only causes misinterpretation and that only takes to misleading people. If you blog, stick to your area of expertise and avoid to touch subjects you are not even familiar with, or get a guest blogger that does know about the subject to write a post for you.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A day without my iPOD

This is what happens when I forget my iPOD at home..

- I can't pretend that I don't hear the phone that the lab manager never answers

- I can hear how many times the lab manager stirs her coffee

- I can hear the people from 2 rows of cubicles down talking, including a bptart that talks like a child

- I heard a weird phone conversation from a professor that doesn't close his office door

- I heard the lab technician asking a post-doc if he trusted his lab work o_0

- I discovered that some people have very annoying ring-tones in their cell phones

- I had fun listening to the technician having problems calculating a concentration

- I heard that Bolt broke the 100m track record!

- I heard that the technician hates mal-walrt because "it's the devil". That made me think that he might care for something or someone (I doubt it)

- I heard the technician counting his vacations hours, like he doesn't just take days when he wants to

(can you tell by now that I don't like the technician?)

- I heard about an hour of French because the post-doc was talking to his wife via the internet

- The technician and the french laughed out loud for about 20 minutes remembering how the french f*(up a chocolate mousse because he forgot the sugar

Is the end of the day and I just want to kill myself. Big note to self: do not forget your iPOD again...EVER!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Shakira

After the oh-so-expected new video of Shakira, this is what we got...



I hope I will not offend anyone but, that is horrendous! I really think that Shakira lost a lot of artistic value in her last 2-3 CD's. Ever since she made the leap to the Anglo market her songs have gotten way more commercial and soulless (even in Spanish). Where are the songs with romantic lyrics? where are the stories in the songs? where are the songs from her beginning, were she sung about good causes? Apparently all that got flushed down the drain at the same time as the black of her hair. I can't even tell that she can sing anymore. It sounds like she is rapping, with horrible diction (I actually had to watch a video with subtitles to understand the lyrics) and her voice sounds so bad compared to any of the songs in her early Spanish CD's. So sorry Shakira, you can sure dance but your music is gotten from bad to worse.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

My name is Asher Lev

Book by Chaim Potok. 1972.

Yeah, yeah I'm really behind in my literature and I'm doing reviews of books from the 70's. What can I say? Readman found it in his parent's library and lent it to me. Plus, I don't buy a lot of new releases.

Asher Lev is a Hassidus Jew being raised in Brooklyn. Asher could draw amazing pictures even before he could read or write. Any "goy" (Christian) family would love to have a kid like that, a prodigy. However, Asher's family is deeply religious and his Dad thinks that his gift comes from an evil place. The book narrates the first 20 years Asher's life, his problems with his Dad, his discovery of what art is, his training as a professional painter, his deep troubles when he finds himself between his religion and his passion, his suffering when his Mom gets caught between him and his Dad. In all, it is a really good book about how we never meet our parents expectations and; the problems that said expectations can cause in our development and our happiness.

I give this book 8/10.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Visas

Two days ago I found out that Canada is now asking for all Mexican citizens, that wish to visit it, to apply for a visa. Previously we only needed to show our passport (valid) and we got a stamp. I do not disagree with Canada's new policy. However, apparently the announcement came with only a 2-day warning and, on top of that, the application can only be processed in Mexico City and the applicant has to be present because it includes a medical examination. So, this new policy affected hundreds of people that had their summer vacations already booked.

The reasoning behind this decision is that a lot of Mexicans are asking for political asylum in Canada. I can see that people from states with political conflicts or drug-war (that is most of the country, unfortunately), could ask for asylum. But, as usual, a lot of people try to abuse the system. The Canadian government supports people that ask for asylum, so unscrupulous people ask for it under false pretenses and enjoy a payed vacation while their case is being looked into. That situation has cost a lot of money that comes from people's taxes. Also, a lot of people go to Canada to study english and work there illegally, sometimes for a long period of time. Asking for a visa to enter the country will be part of the solution to all of this. But, a short notice and the complication of having to travel to Mexico City will seriously affect anyone that wants to travel to the maple tree country.

While the Croatian government reacted badly to this new rule, with its ambassador calling on the Canadian government and asking to immediately revoke their decision, the Mexican government decided to ask for visas to all Canadian diplomats. Big deal! How is that going to help? We should ask for visas from all Canadians as well. Even if they are for free. Most countries are now securing their borders. When is Mexico going to do the same?

Mexico is a paradise for foreigners that want to disappear from their countries. I'm all for giving people asylum when there is a real threat for them to return to their countries. There is a big Cuban population in Mexico, for example. But, a lot of the foreigners that stay in the country are criminals that get away and live happily in Mexico because no-one does a background check on them. How many children have been kidnapped by a parent and ended up living with them in Mexico? How many ETA members have been (with high difficulties) tracked down to Mexico? I think it is time for my country to have more control over the people that visit it and not just make them file a form that is not even captured into a computer.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The virgin blue

My friend Readman and I are a little obsessed with good books (he also reads bad ones, I don't have the patience). Frequently we interchange books (yes, we trust each other that much), then, of course, we interchange opinions. A lot of times we agree on our views, except for suspense/horror books that Readman adores and I don't care for, that much. The opposite is true for my romantic novels, I don't think he would read them, even if there is nothing else to read.

In my last visit to Hermosillo (my and Readman's hometown), we interchanged books, as usual. Amongst the books that Readman lent me was "The virgin blue" by Tracy Chevalier. It is one of those books that make me envy those people that have the wonderful ability to get brilliant ideas and that know how to get them across in an engaging and captivating way. "The virgin blue" was published in 1997 but, it wasn't until the author's second book ("the girl with the pearl earring") was published that it got noticed. 12 years later it fell on my hands, and I devoured its 350 pages in 4 going-to-bed-really-late nights.

The book narrates how the family bond can survive centuries, overcome space barriers and even defeat death. It is a story of a woman that researching the life of her ancestors discover an ancient bond between her family, the color red and a particular shade of blue. In the process, she also finds her true identity, her real home and her real love. The story is told from the points of view of; Ella, the woman in the present; and, Isabelle, the root of Ella's genealogical tree. The book takes you from the happiness and anxiety that is a new beginning, trough marital trouble, flirting and enchantment, the suspense of family secrets, some spirituality and a touch of horror, to; the love for ones profession, the adventure of the unknown, the value of friendship and the wonders of true love.

I give this book a 9/10. It could have a longer epilogue. I won't say why to avoid spoiling it.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Te amaré

My favorite song in the whole world, it is in Spanish but I wrote a (bad) translation.



Miguel Bosé: Te amaré

Con la paz de las montañas te amaré
con locura y equilibrio te amaré,
con la rabia de mis años, como me enseñaste a ser
con un grito en carne viva te amaré.

En secreto y en silencio te amaré
arriesgando en lo prohibido te amaré
en lo falso y en lo cierto, con el corazón abierto
por ser algo no perfecto te amaré.

Te amaré, te amaré
como no está permitido
te amaré, te amaré
como nunca se ha sabido...
porque así lo he decidido te amaré.

Por ponerte algún ejemplo te diré
que aunque tengas manos frías te amaré
con tu mala ortografía y tu no saber perder
con defectos y manías te amaré.

Te amaré, te amaré
porque fuiste algo importante
te amaré, te amaré
cuando ya no estés presente...
seguirá siendo costumbre y te amaré.

Al caer de cada noche esperaré
a que seas luna llena y te amaré
y aunque queden pocos restos en señal de lo que fue
seguirás cerca y muy dentro, te amaré.

Te amaré, te amaré
a golpe de recuerdo
te amaré, te amaré
hasta el último momento...
a pesar de todo siempre te amaré.
-------

Translation:

With the peace of the mountains
I will love you
with craziness and balance
I will love you
with the rage of my years, how you thought me to be
with a scream in bare flesh
I will love you

In secret and in silence
I will love you
in the edge of the forbidden
I will love you
in lies and truth, with my heart open
because you are something imperfect,
I will love you

I will love you, I will love you
because is not allowed,
I will love you, I will love you
like no-one has ever done it,
because I decided so, I will love you

As an example, I will tell you,
that even if you have cold hands, I will love you
with your bad orthography and your "I-never-lose"
with your defects and manias, I will love you

I will love you, I will love you
because you were important,
I will love you, I will love you
even after you are gone,
it will still be a habit, I will love you

Every nightfall I will wait,
until you are a full moon and
I will love you.
Even if there is very little left,
as a sign of what it was,
you will be still close and deep inside
I will love you

I will love you, I will love you
as a punch of a memory,
I will love you, I will love you
until the very last moment,
despite everything, I will love you

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

10 years in solitude

I realized this week that tomorrow is the 10th anniversary since I've been alone. 10 years a go I had you and you had me. You left me and I just realized, it still hurts. I've been in denial a long time. It feels good to let it out. It still hurts.

We met in high school but we didn't pay attention to each other then. You were the clown of the band, I was the nerd. We met again a few years later, you were still funny and more interesting. I found out a few days earlier than the love of my life had his own love of his life and I was a little heart-broken. You healed my heart with your smile and your persistence. I was a bitch to you those few weeks you were after me. Yet, you kept coming back. I decided to give you a chance and before I knew it I had fell for you. It was the first time I loved and was loved back. It was bitter-sweet. We had our problems, your mom hated me, I didn't like her that much. I hated that you wouldn't defended me from her horrendous comments. But, we loved each other, or that is what I thought.

After almost a year, I knew things were not going great and, silly me, thought that if we got closer everything would be all right again. I went on vacation and didn't see you for a couple of weeks. When I saw you again you broke up with me. You told me all the clichés I never thought I would hear, it was not me, it was you, you needed time, etc. I believed when you said you just needed time. I didn't know you already had someone else.

I found out you were cheating on me 7 months after we broke up. At our professor's funeral. I had to keep everything I felt inside. I couldn't ask you about it, I couldn't slap you, even though I so wanted to. It was too late. So, I have kept those feelings inside me for 10 long and lonely years. I haven't had another relationship since then. I can't trust on anyone anymore. I have lied to myself saying that I miss having someone, that I don't miss you, I do, I miss YOU.

I know you got married and have children. You forgot me. I never forgot you. I hope you are and will always be happy. It's been a long time now and I still don't know if I can forgive you. I've almost lost hope that I will ever find someone else and I know it is because of you. I so wish you could read this, you owe me 10 years of my life.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Clubbing 10+ years later

I have never been much of a clubbing girl. My time for going out every other weekend was when I turned 18 (legal age to get into a club and drink, in Mexico). My girlfriends and I would go to the clubs, hoping they would let us in, and then just dance, sing and drink. It was fun.

I just went to a club after a long time. It is not fun anymore, or at least, the specific club we went to, wasn't. The drinks were good. The music was horrible. Apparently they had a special DJ that night. He played only house music which, I don't like that much, it doesn't make me want to dance. We went to ask him to play some MJ, hoping that he would agree because of MJ's recent death. The assistant of the DJ (talk about a great job) told us that he didn't take requests. The dance floor was practically empty and he wouldn't change the music. Isn't that suppose to be the DJ's job? To make everyone dance?

Anyway, that was a no-go. So, some of my friends did dance a little. The rest of us were just drinking and people-watching. That was fun, checking outfits of people coming in and betting if they were going to let them in or not, based on the clothes. The problem was that all bets were off because some people on horrible outfits were friends with the bouncer. So, that too ended up not being fun anymore.

When we first got in we noticed a couple of women that had that look of easiness, to say it in a decent way. All trough the night we noticed them talking to several guys and we were very curious to find out if they really were what we thought they were. Almost at the end of the night one of them was talking to a guy that was behind us, so we got to listen to their conversation. What we thought was true, they were talking prices! This place is the second most popular and nice club in town so we were not expecting that. The expected part was that it was full of young people, a lot of daddy-boys and girls and the opposite spectrum too, a lot of 40+ people. There were the usual hammered guys hitting on my married friends, including the pregnant one, jajajaja. One gay guy checking out my very cute and very married friend. And a stupid jerk that threw his still-lit cigarette out without looking, it ended up on my dress and I burned my finger a little to get it off. Fortunately the dress was not damaged, I would've been severely pissed off if that had happen.

I found amusing that I can go for 4-5 days in a row going to bed at 2-3 am when I'm in Hermosillo, then drive back to Tucson (6+ hours drive), no problem. But, yesterday I was very tired after going to bed at 3 am and waking up at 10. Another thing, how is it that people meet other people in this places? I mean, potential dates. It is impossible to talk. Anyway, call me boring but I don't think that I'll be clubbing again any time soon.

Friday, June 19, 2009

First love

There's a time for everything, you said last night in my dream. Even while I was asleep I thought; no, there never was a time for us. Seeing you last week affected me more than I realized until now. I knew there was a chance that you would be there, that didn't help. I haven't seen you in 8+ years. It was still a shock.

Seeing you reminded me of the time when I loved you. Even though we were never together, the hope that it might have happen, made me happy. I don't love you anymore, how could I? I fell in love with the man you were becoming but I don't really know the man you became. I know you are happy now, that is bitter-sweet for me, I'm happy for you but, I find myself longing for what I don't have. I feel empty.

It is not just the loneliness, it is the fact that I haven't care for anyone in a long time. The need to love someone is even stronger than the need to feel loved. I never thought that would happen to me, given that I fall in love easily. Or, at least, I used to fall in love easily. Maybe that's not me anymore, my walls got higher and thicker after my inside got shattered 9 years ago. That wasn't your fault but, at some level, I blame you. If you had felt what I felt the story would have been very different. I can't get all the "ifs" to go away and that hurts.

Monday, June 8, 2009

You know you live (or at least have driven) in Tucson when...

1. You know at least 3 people who have been in car accidents
2. You are the 3rd car waiting for the green light and you don't get to cross the intersection
3. If you are not the first car waiting for the green arrow on Oracle and River you will get your picture taken by the traffic camera
4. You go 25 mph in 40 mph zones (thanks to the one in front of you, of course)
5. You come to a full stop because the car in front of you is trying to make a right turn
6. You don't know if your car is well balanced because every street in Tucson is depressed at a certain angle
7. You know at least one person that has had a tire blown in a pot-hole
8. You have been honked at by a Mexican (hmmm ok, Sonoran)
9. You know at least 3 people who have gotten their cars broken into (I know 4, including me)
10. You don't understand why people brake right after they pass a traffic light

25 sad songs in English

My favorite sad songs in english.

25. Sorry seams to be the hardest word. Elton John
24. Nothing compares to you. Sinead O’Connor
23. With or without you. U2
22. Hello. Lionel Richie
21. I want to know what love is. Foreigner
20. November rain. Guns ‘n roses
19. Streets of Philadelphia. Bruce Springsteen
18. Always. Bon Jovi
17. I’ll be loving you forever. New kids on the block
16. I need you. New kids on the block
15. It must have been love. Roxette
14. Dust in the wind. Kansas
13. All by myself. Celine Dion
12. The reason. Hoobanstank
11. How am I suppose to live without you. Michael Bolton
10. Anyone. Roxette
9. Please forgive me. Bryan Adams
8. You are still the one. Shania Twain
7. More than words. Extreme
6. Don’t speak. No doubt
5. Because of you. Kelly Clarkson
4. One more time. Laura Pausini (Richard Marx)
3. Goodbye. Air supply
2. Total eclipse of the heart. Air supply
1. Making love out of nothing at all. Air supply

25 random things about me

1. I cry with almost every movie I watch.

2. I have read all the Harry Potter books, at least twice. I have seen all the Harry Potter movies up to date, at least 3 times each.

3. I am a nerd and I'm not afraid to say it.

4. I like Science Fiction books but, I really enjoy cheesy Romance novels.

5. I am a spoiler aunt/Godmother.

6. I use to play the flute in the marching band in high school and college.

7. I get really cranky when I'm hungry.

8. I hate putting dishes and clean clothes back in place.

9. I use to hate getting my picture taken and when I did I wouldn't smile. Now my smile is the most prominent thing in all my pictures. I thank Daniel Justiniani for that ;-).

10. I will wear a pair of White Converse Shoes if I ever get married.

11. I get grossed out by people that bite their nails, specially men.

12. I cried the 2 times I have seen my favorite singer, Miguel Bose, in concert.

13. I love to travel but I have only been in 2 countries, Mexico and USA.

14. I have never seen more than 2 inches of snow.

15. I bought my first car when I was 30 years old.

16. I love Claude Monet's paintings.

17. Green is my favorite color.

18. I can't have video games near me because one I star playing it is really hard to stop. My record is around 12 hours. I only play when I am in Hermosillo, just for the sake of my Godson (yeah right!), jajajajajaa.

19. When I am almost over with a meal I count how many pieces of beef, chicken, etc, whatever I am eating and divide my bread, tortilla, cracker, etc, accordingly. Sometimes I do it viceversa.

20. I usually coordinate the color of my clothes with my purse, shoes and most of the times, underwear.

21. I had to take the GRE test twice to enter Grad-school, I still don't know how I got a good score the second time.

22. I have a huge family, 4 brothers, one sister, 4 nephews, one niece, around 40 first cousins who have I don't know how many kids, jajaja.

23. I make really good pancakes and an ever better guacamole.

24. I love to live by myself but I need to have the TV or the radio on at all times, just to have some noise.

25. I have to read something not-work-related before I go to bed every night.